solo journey reflection 2020

⁣A three-legged dog runs past my car on the beach in Narragansett, RI. It’s raining, cloudy, and windy as hell.

Our surroundings. It's what we’re given.⁣

With the months of Covid, I desperately wanted to change my surroundings. My external surroundings. ⁣

⁣Here’s the scene. I’m sitting, cross-legged in the back of my Nissan Rogue with a computer on my lap. Yes, I’m in the hatch-back part of the car. Sort of spread out- my back against my cooler, and all I can think about is- my surroundings. ⁣

Why am I on this trip- why now?⁣

[Why I #solojourney] Seven years ago, when my mom had terminal breast cancer, a friend of hers would write letters to her every day and I would read them aloud to her. The letters were filled with observations from the land out west. I was reading about the rock formations and the way the color of the rocks changed at dusk. I said to my mom, “I’m going to go there.” While laying in her hospital bed, she grabbed my hand, looked at me and said- “and I’m going to go with you”.⁣

With that, I knew we were going to go…together.⁣

So, every year since her passing- I feel this nudge to getaway. Taking solo trips has taught me so many things about my life. Every trip shows me something different. It truly makes me feel alive. I could go on and on about the beauty of traveling alone- but, I really want to explore why a solo journey now?⁣

I have this self-imposed, cooped-up feeling in my mind that I need to change. Is it me? Is it this Covid world? Right now- I mean, yes- I’m on the beach, the view is amazing, I could be here all day…⁣

As I write this, there are thousands of people- people who are sick, people who have lost loved ones and people who are losing their businesses. I need to remind myself, wherever I am- to get out of my head. To change my 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 surroundings. To seek and observe things that give me pause- even on my walk around the neighborhood. ⁣

It’s like that dog. He only had three legs. And he was living his best life running around.⁣

He decided to rise. So must I. ⁣

11.18.2020